Tuesday, October 28, 2014

If One may be permitted to tweet

You may have heard the news. Apparently Betty Windsor has just de-robed her index finger (her whole hand truth be told) and launched her first tweet.

It read as thus:

I’ve seen a bit of coverage espousing what a fabulous moment this was for the monarchy and for tweeterdom. Quite right to a point. Twitter is undoubtedly a quick useful medium for promoting the messages and mundane cuisine photography of businesses; funny buggers; frustrated foodies; hateful tools; and drunk, bored, lonely people (*cough*).

As an old PR, let me assure you, coordinating a measley 22 word tweet for Elizabeth R would have involved no less than 50 professional hours, 15 different drafts, 16 sets of edits, and 47 different people (all either at conferences, in meetings, on leave or out of range) required to sign off on the final wording.

Nice one, Queeny – and more to the point, to the PR peeps at @ScienceMuseum let me take this opportunity to throw, in your honour, a ticker tape parade featuring twerking showgirls in silver leotards and a giant cupcake that shoots glitter.

But it got me thinking, if other royal figures throughout the course of history had the chance to get all Twitty with it, what would they tweet?


Just updated my Facebook relationship status to: it’s complicated. Again.

William Wallace

Don’t keep calm. Vote Scotland. #independence #freedom

Cleopatra VII Philopator

Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherf*****g snakes in the motherf*****g Nile!"

Queen Victoria

Amused? Epic Fail.

King Joffrey

Anytime’s a good time for pie mofos! #hellsyeahirule

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Friday, October 24, 2014

Musings in the 'burbs - I'm here with all of My People

I don't think you're ever really done finding Your People. 

From the cradle to the grave. From daycare to kindy, primary to high school, uni and beyond, twenties, thirties, forties, eighties. You're never really done until your heart stops beating and your mind stops chattering.

What does it mean when you promise someone that no matter how hard or whatever may come? 

Once in a while I return to the fold with people I call my own* 

You never stop changing. Like it or not, we're all caught up in a never-ending evolution of thought, motion and world events.

The supplementation and refinement of Your People, likewise, never ends. The more you get to know and reknow yourself and others, and the more others get to know and reknow themselves and you; the more reasons there are to both relish and shun. You discover more people who are for you and you get a sense of those who are not for you anymore. Sometimes you are drawn in by and to someone. Or pushed away. Some crush you like rubble til there is nothing left but grit.

People can be Your People then not without erasing their significance in your life. Acquaintances can surprise you by becoming one of your own. So can strangers, clients, children, lovers, adversaries. 

As you get older, the new additions to Your People come along fewer and further in between.
Sometimes they come in packs.
Some you give birth to.
Some are those to whom your heart gives way.

You can fill your life and calendar with people who are not Your People. It's thicker than water and denser than friendship.
Looks, wealth and health are never criteria for the people you call your own.
Death isn't a deal breaker either.

Your People can be those:

  • who you commit to (and want to commit to) spending a lot of personal time with
  • who don't require a lot of mental effort to be around
  • who don't want more from you than you have to give
  • who make what you give to them worth it in your heart
  • who ask about the details of your day even before you get a chance to ask them about theirs
  • who make your heart smile
  • who make you feel like you are home when you are far from it
  • who flash into your consciousness to when you are far from ok
  • who you gravitate towards when you feel most alive

Shake your hair

Have some fun

forget our mothers and past lovers 

forget everyone
I'm so lucky
You are my best friend
There's no one, there's no one that knows me like you do **

* Won't Give In - Finn Brothers
** Bros - Alice Wolf

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Why you should avoid the little room on the way to the big room

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Words of the Week

"On this day, getting ready, I was fired up. I do not normally think in swearwords but my mind was shouting, For fuck's sake, after all the shit I have to put up with, now I have to listen to Abbott lecturing me on sexism. For fuck's sake!"
             - Julia Gillard, My Story
             moments before going into Question Time and delivering this speech:

"Gee, I felt sorry for Abbott when he looked at his watch." - Gillard's party colleague, Anthony Albanese said to her afterwards.

"Maintain your rage."
RIP Gough Whitlam     

"The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away." - William Shakespeare

"I just want another song. That's all I want." - Paul Kelly, Stories of Me
     (just keep 'em coming Paul)

But when the weekend come, the weekend come.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Dating advice for daughters

Buzzfeed employees have shared dating advice they would give their daughters

There's something quietly satisfying about spruiking advice to your children. It makes you feel more wise than you are and more together than you were. I often hear myself being all parenty and advisey and shit to my kids and while I do my utmost to pass on sensible, responsible direction, there's usually a little voice in there somewhere whispering to me "Who are you kidding, the only reason you know this stuff is because you screwed up so much." 

But hey, who am I to deny my offspring the wisdom that comes from being less than sophisticated and more times than not falling on my face in any number of life's little tests? I've tried in the past to pass on erudite girl guidance to my daughter on the myth of the princess and some lessons in love for my son and I think I'll stow some of these little pearls from the Buzzfeed crew away for future reference too. 

In particular:

Happy Friday shenanigans

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My book

Monday, October 13, 2014

Too good not to share

It is downright exhilarating to know that not only is Jeff Goldblum alive and well, he is selling out, lighting up and having a laughin' good time on behalf of GE.

Along with internet advertising, and product placements, there has to be a place for infomercials in this godforsaken era of still in the digital dark age media. We need to pay for bar-raising content somehow and so long as they exist - can we all agree to make ads as fabulous as this one?

If you like this, trip on over for a gander at:
Video of the week: I want my Pacey Con