If One may be permitted to tweet

You may have heard the news. Apparently Betty Windsor has just de-robed her index finger (her whole hand truth be told) and launched her first tweet.

It read as thus:

I’ve seen a bit of coverage espousing what a fabulous moment this was for the monarchy and for tweeterdom. Quite right to a point. Twitter is undoubtedly a quick useful medium for promoting the messages and mundane cuisine photography of businesses; funny buggers; frustrated foodies; hateful tools; and drunk, bored, lonely people (*cough*).

As an old PR, let me assure you, coordinating a measley 22 word tweet for Elizabeth R would have involved no less than 50 professional hours, 15 different drafts, 16 sets of edits, and 47 different people (all either at conferences, in meetings, on leave or out of range) required to sign off on the final wording.

Nice one, Queeny – and more to the point, to the PR peeps at @ScienceMuseum let me take this opportunity to throw, in your honour, a ticker tape parade featuring twerking showgirls in silver leotards and a giant cupcake that shoots glitter.

But it got me thinking, if other royal figures throughout the course of history had the chance to get all Twitty with it, what would they tweet?


Just updated my Facebook relationship status to: it’s complicated. Again.

William Wallace

Don’t keep calm. Vote Scotland. #independence #freedom

Cleopatra VII Philopator

Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherf*****g snakes in the motherf*****g Nile!"

Queen Victoria

Amused? Epic Fail.

King Joffrey

Anytime’s a good time for pie mofos! #hellsyeahirule

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